Height of....

Two guys coming out of the examination Hall with chips and coke in hands....

1st guy: Which paper was it?

2nd guy: I think maths......

1st guy: (surprisingly) you read the question paper?

2nd guy: no I see a girl sitting besides me using calculator


HEIGHT OF OVER STUDY!!
A Student went 2 restaurant.
.
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He wanted 2 ask 4 d menu
... but he forget what it was called ?
.
so he said:
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WAITER
SYLLABUS
PLEASE.


1. What is height of Fashion?
Dhoti with a zip.

2. What is height of Secrecy?
Offering black visiting cards.

3. What is height of Active laziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

4. What is height of Laziness?
Adopt a child.

5. What is height of Craziness?
Getting a black paper Xeroxed.

6. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.

7. What is height of Stupidity?
A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

8. What is height of Honesty?
A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

9. What is height of Suicide?
A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

10. What is height of De-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder.

copy in the exam

Two children were writing an exam...
The examiner was very strict,
he wasn't letting them copy
so the 1st child gave the examiner a chit.
the examiner was shocked..
after he read the chit he went and sat down on the chair and
dint get up for the rest of the exam..
after coming out of the exam hall,
the 2nd student asked wat he had written on the chit...
the 1st student said that he had written..
.
.
.
"SIR YOUR PANT IS TORN AT THE BACK..." ;) :

Height of Ohh shit....

A boy throws a love letter to a girl but it falls
on her brother...........
.
.
.
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.
.
.
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And her brother was a gay.....
:-Ooh shittt.....................................!!!!

check your ability...

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional manager. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question!

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?

Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend... except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?

Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been paying attention? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes

Next generation kg class:

A: APPLE
B: BLUETOOTH
C: CHAT
D: DOWNLOAD
E: E-MAIL
F: FACEBOOK
G: GOOGLE
H: HP
I: i PHONE
J: JAVA
K: KINGSTON
L: LAPTOP
M: MESSENGER
N: NERO
O: ORKUT
P: PICASSA
Q: QUICK TIME
R: RAM
S: SERVER
T: TWITTER
U: USB
V: VISTA
W: Wi-Fi
X: XP
Y: YOUTUBE
Z: ZEDGE

THANK GOD....... A is still APPLE:-)

Excellence...

A German once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?" "No," said the sculptor without looking up, "We need only one, but the first
one got damaged at the last stage." The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still busy with his work. "Where are you going to install the idol?"

The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. "If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked. The sculptor stopped work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I will know it."

The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not. "Excellence" is a drive from inside, not outside. Excellence is not for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction and efficiency...

Difficult Questions And Intelligent Answers for Interview :

Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A.Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

... Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)

Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands..(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Q.. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find! an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Dinner.

Q.. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank )

Q. How many buckets of water does Pacific Ocean contains?
A : It depends on the size of the bucket.

(CA Institute Campus Interview Placement)
Interviewer said 'I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!' The boy thought for a while and said, 'my choice is one really difficult question.'
'Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this. 'What comes first, Day or Night?'
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on his answer, but he thought for a while and said, 'It's the DAY sir!'
'How' the interviewer asked,

'Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!'
He was selected for IIM!

5-minute Management Course [Hilarious but True!]

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’

After thinking that she has a chance earning $800 within a minute, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, aftera few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel andgoes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’

‘It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies.

‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’

Moral of the story:
Do not share any critical information unless you understand the need of opposite person. It may or may not help him but surely won’t help you.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, ‘Father, rememberPsalm 129?’

The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak.’

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’

‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I wantto be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’

Puff! She’s gone.

‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’

Puff! He’s gone.

‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.

The manager smiles and say, ‘I want those two back in the office after the lunch-time.’

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’

The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5:

A Turkey was chatting with a Bull.

‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the Turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’ ‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the Bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’

The Turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave her enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, she reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the Turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree..

She was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot her out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t help you stay there for long.

Lesson 6:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and she fell to the ground into a large field.

While she was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on her.

As the frozen bird laid there in the pile of cow dung, she began to realize how warm it was.

The dung was actually thawing her out!

She lays there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat hears the bird singing and comes to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug her out and ate her.

Morals of the story:
[1] Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
[2] Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
[3] And when you’re in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!